Nicole W. CooleyAuthor of Into the Light: Rape, Abortion and the Truth that Set Me Free

Does God speak to you in church?  He speaks to me in the sanctuary of my local church quite often.  There are two places I often hear His voice in my heart - in the shower (!!!!) and in church.  I think it is because those are two places where you usually won’t find my toddler, Abby, nearby distracting me.  Also, I also tend to have my spiritual ears open.  The shower is my mini-retreat from the stresses of life as a “single” parent while my husband is away serving our country.  Church is where I recharge my spiritual batteries.  God shows me the most profound things when He speaks to me.  He also often stretches me beyond my known capabilities!

A few Sundays ago, I remembered our current home near Hinesville, Georgia did not have a local pregnancy resource center.  It happened again the next week.  And the next.  “God, are you telling me you want me to start a pregnancy center?”  A strong feeling of excitement mixed with apprehension filled my gut.  “OK, God, is this really You?”  (We’ve had this conversation many times....I think His response is along the lines of “Who else would it be, Nicole?”)  So I prayed, “God, if this is really You, give me confirmation when I seek the counsel of my pastor.”

The next week, I met with my pastor (Chuck Owens of First Baptist Church of Hinesville) and he loved the idea.  He quickly pulled a couple of church elders into the office - and they too grasped the vision.  The ball began to roll...in a few weeks I would meet Jim Elliott, the missionary for the New Sunbury Baptist Association.  At that meeting we all agreed, if this is God’s will, and we all think it is, God will make this a reality.

I have never started a pregnancy center before in my life.  I have witnessed God start a pregnancy center....but I was a bystander, not intimately involved in the process.  (I mention this incredible story in my book.)  As I look back on my collective experiences in pro-life work, it has started to make sense.  I have dabbled in just about every ministry a pregnancy center supports.  I have participated in and led post-abortion healing Bible studies.  I have trained to be a pregnancy counselor.  I have taught abstinence to soldiers (that story is in my book, too!)  I have been a side-walk counselor outside an abortion clinic.  I have talked to the media at a “life-chain” event while holding my “I regret my abortion” sign.  I am a member of the National Right to Life (and have attended one of their conventions.)  I am an encyclopedia of information on abortion from my extensive reading over the past ten years.  And, I’m a pro-life author who has also appeared on TV a few times.  “But, God?”  my heart pleads.  “I have never done this before!”  Therein lies my answer....BUT, GOD!  I have never done this before, BUT GOD has!  (Thank you Valerie Bixler, great woman of God, for teaching me this truth!!)

I reflected on all the people in the Bible who might have had a similar conversation with God.  Moses reminded God that perhaps someone who didn’t stutter would be a better choice for a spokesman to represent Him to the Egyptian Pharoh.  God wasn’t worried....but to ease Moses’ mind, He sent along his brother Aaron to help.  God called Esther, a mere handmaiden of the King, to defy protocol and risk her life to save the Jewish people.  God put Joseph through hell on earth....sold into slavery by his siblings only to be later falsely accused and imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit.  Then Joseph rose to serve as the second only to the King over all of Egypt.  In this God-given role, Joseph was able to save his family from starvation and ultimately provide for the Jews during a terrible famine.  Over and over it is apparent to me that God does not call on those who are equipped and ready for the job He has for them.  Instead He equips those He calls for the job He has for them.

In Hebrews chapter 11, we read about the “great cloud of witnesses” who testify to the faithfulness of God to those who walk in His purpose for their lives.  Today, I feel my own “cloud of witnesses” in the wonderful faces of friends, both new and old, who are rallying around me in support of this idea.  Yes, Hinesville, someday soon you will have a pregnancy center!  In the meantime, I look in eager anticipation to watch the events unfold to create this reality.  For I know God is not only good, but He is able....to do exceedingly more than I can ever imagine.  I can hardly wait.

Want to help?  Shoot me an email on my contact page - and I’ll get you linked in!  God Bless You!   

Today (March 17, 2009) the film crew from CBN came to our home to interview me for an upcoming feature on the 700 Club. Since my grandmother's passing the end of February, I have struggled to maintain even the basics around our home. The house was nowhere ready for a TV crew!

I hired a friend (all my household help become dear friends) and we worked feverishly for two days for over four hours. Besides that, I worked in between, too! This morning while Abby slept and the boys were over at another friend's house (THANKS CHERYL!), I had more time to clean. I noticed the sink, then the counter by the stove, and the water cooler, too was dusty. I scrubbed the trash can lid and the floor near the trash cans. It seemed no matter where I looked, I saw yet another imperfection - more dirt. When I exhausted the cleaning wipes, I determined it was an impossible task. There would always be more dirt. So I resigned myself that this had to be good enough and hoped they wouldn't film the kitchen - and if they did, any neglected dirt wouldn't show.

I read a little scripture before my shower and continued to reflect on the dirt. I also prayed for the upcoming interview - that God would use me for His glory. Then it hit me that God didn't notice my dirt. Not because He couldn't see it - but because He chose to ignore it. The veil of Christ's shed blood for me gave Him "rose colored glasses" that masked my imperfections from His view. God saw my heart. My desire to please Him - to honor Him with my life touched His heart. God's love for me is overwhelming - God loves my heart because He knows it belongs to Him. God doesn't care about my dirt -literally! I am a terrible housekeeper! But, God has gifted me in other ways that I do use for Him. I felt challenged to see myself as God does - and not yield to the tendency to self-condemnation for the dirt in my life I have yet to find victory over.

I reflected on David of the Bible - who was known for having a heart after God's own heart. David had some significant failures, but his heart ultimately belonged to God. It was this endearing quality that God adored. I recalled how God's eyes search the earth looking for those whose hearts are completely His (2 Chronicles 16:9). In another passage God promises to remove our sins from His view - as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).

God has never desired perfection as much as submission - obedience to His purpose. I must simply work in His purpose for my life. The dirt is irrelevant. But, somehow I have a feeling that eventually God will give me victory in all areas of my life - and help me clean the dirty spots once and for all.